Becoming a Certified Animal Euthanasia Technician

I was told at my interview that I would have to become euthanasia certified. I knew it was coming.
It’s not like I haven’t been around it. It first started at sanctuaries. Where the cats had been living there lives till the end and I knew that it was time to go. We had Vet’s that would come out, I would hold them, give it time, and we would bury them there. You start to find a familiar numb spot that you take those feelings to so that you can go about you job and not lose it.
Then working for Vets where you’re there to help those in need. Mostly, those animals were not common clients and it is your job to be supportive . Not emotional.
Working at kill shelters bring in the reality though. I never thought that I would be able to do so until there was not a no kill shelter in the town that I lived in.
I’m glad I had that before this position though. Otherwise the idea of both “Kill” and mainly, “Certified Animal Euthanasia Technician” would have sent me running for the hills.
My first job at a city shelter was a big deal for me. I was terrified.
I saw healthy animals go down because of space issues. Dogs deemed un-adoptable because they would jump on you after being taken out of a run.
I realized then, that there would always be plenty of people to help support to no kill shelters.
People put there money where it makes them feel good. With the fluffy kittens, the puppies with the irresistible stinky puppy breath, the pure bred that room was made for because people knew it would be easily adopted.
Who wants to see the aggressive dogs? The sick, fearful, territorial dog with a skin condition? That’s not fun. That’s not calender worthy. That’s not what you think of when you hear Sara Mclachlan’s “Arms of an Angle”
That makes you feel sad. It makes you want to wash your hands. Change your clothes. Shit, take a shower, turn the other way and make sure your kids don’t look. Because god forbid you go through the “Employee’s Only” door and not the “Adoptions” door.
It challenged me. It made me realize that no matter what we wish and hope for things to be like, there is always a dark reality.

I started to see these “un-adoptable” dogs and look at the “D” days that were written on there cage cards. It made me want to spend time with them. To give them treats and say sweet things. Cause who the fuck else was? People don’t go in that room to say “Aw, look at that dog”. They don’t get to go on walks, cuddled or even pet.
So I made a point to give them my attention. Because to me, in this line of work, you do not work for your own peace of mind. You work to give these animals a peace of mind.

And please, do not take this as a sign of arrogance. In fact, I’m feeling it is quite the opposite.
My teacher yesterday, the Director of the Louisiana Board of Veterinary Medicine had said that we have an extremely hard job. That not may people could do this job including herself.
It made we wonder and question my actions and how I deal with stress.
Am I crazy? Do I ignore the real problems at hand because all I see are fucking rainbows and Steenies cotton sweetness sliding down them into lollipop forests?
I don’t know.
But either way, this is my job and beyond that, this is my life.

“It’s not what you do that defines who you are. It’s who you are that defines what you do”

Those words definitely describe my career.
Never did I think, “I want to be  Certified Animal Euthanasia Technician.”
No, I thought “I want to work with animals.” The more I grew and found my options in that field, rescue just made sense. And it fell into place perfectly.
Because of that, the lows are pretty far down there.
BUT, the up’s… Oh the up’s. The other day, my boss and I were giving a horse water. Who knows how long it had been since this horse had water, and it followed us around and kept wanting to put it’s head on our shoulder.
To take “aggressive” dog’s off a chain only for them soak you in it’s kisses.

The reward they give you for putting up with all the horror of the “behind scenes” makes up for it. And so because of that, I will always be there with them. To make them feel like they are special. To let them know that it’s not their fault.
And the least we can do as a human race, a race that has bred and bred, and became irresponsible and ignorant to their well being, is tell them that in the end. To apologize on behalf of man kind.
And if I am there to do it, then I know that it’s happening.

I’m not going to share my experience. If you’re curious, you can ask. But details are not what is important here. The task at hand is and more importantly, the reasons why.

Ring Ring Ring Ring!

This morning Hokmayen and I woke up with Steenie in between us. For some reason I thought about him making a phone call. Steenie. Not Hokmayen.
A very professional call. And if so, who would Steenie be making that phone call to? We tried to think about it for a while. Of course obvious things come up like, The President or Emperor of Tashirojima. (For those of you who don’t want to look at the long explanation, look at THIS) and in the end, we both decided that in reality, he would really only want to call Hok.
It would hurt my feelings but it’s just too gawd damn sweet.

I am not only back from a very long pause in this Blahg because I have things to say because, oh boy, do I. But, by what some folks may call a “popular demand”. That’s right. In the beginning it was like, “Great. Jac got a blauhg and now we can indulge her love for Steenie more.” Then you realized you love the Steen Life and that you were missing it so badly when it suddenly wasn’t there.
Well don’t worry. There is plenty of Steenie to go around but first, in other news:

I have been one busy bee. Between Spay and Neuter, Mudpuppy Studios and Burlesquing, this blauhg wasn’t really a priority. Any free time I have had was early in the morning after costuming all night with Shannon and working all day. We of course used that time playing Super Mario Bros. on the Wii. Duh.

Hok and I even forgot about Valentines Day. Which is no big deal but I like to be romantic and do a little something. And he is the most romantic guy I could ever dream of in the sweetest ways but once we both realized how we both fucked up it didn’t really matter. Besides, everyday is Valentines day in this house. So here you go Honey Dumplin, Happy Valensteen’s Day.

Speaking of which earlier, I would like to take a moment to give Shannon a GIANT, public THANK YOU. Without Shannon, I would be lost. She takes time out of her insanely busy schedule to lend me her very talented hand. Helping me with costuming, hair, makeup, confidence, and support, she is the best behind the scenes burlesquer I bet there ever was .
Go Team Friends forever!
A week ago I performed in Hot Springs with the Spa City Sweethearts put on by Ruby Lead from the Foul Play Cabaret. The name is no lie cause these girls were in fact, sweethearts. Everyone had something new to bring to the table and the stage was full of beautiful, talented girls. My hats off to all the ladies.
I performed to John C. Riley’s “Mr. Cellophane“. I did sad clown. It was a success. It was a good number for me to do. Did I mention my costume kicked ass? Homemade Bustle, Bra and Top hat and eurrythang. Booyakasha.

I’ve gotten more hours up at Mudpuppy which is nice. It’s really hard man work but I think of my mama, buck up and power through it. It’s good for me and I enjoy being there though, so I try not to complain about my sore body at the end of the day too much. Plus I have good company. I have a blasty blast with that crazy kid over at Sandwich Control, Peter and an occasional Zach. They say I’m a scientist when I’m there. You here that mom? A Scientist.  I mix things like Lithium , Chrome, Manganese, Titanium and other words. Chemistry stuff ya know? I also use power tools. I could never do that stuff at home.  Oh also, Barium. You know why they call it barium? Because when people handle it to closely, you have to bury em’. HAHA. Get it? If not, your dumb. Adam tried to get me to smell it. He also throws his farts in my face so I didn’t want to trust him but my curiosity got the best of me. It smelt like nothing.  Barium. Hmph. More like Borium.

Last(ish) and we all know (obviously with the “ish”) not the least, SPAY AND NEUTER. The clinic is banging! We’ve been doing 50+ animals a day and are booked for all of March. Dr. Feliciano has been kicking ass all while being pregnant. Go Doc.
Keep in mind folks, spring is among us early this year and it is the season for breedin. Make sure to get your pets fixed and keep up with vaccinations, heartworms, ticks and fleas and other gross parasites. I fucking hate parasites. Get your own shit. It’s going to be bad around here seeing as we had a relatively mild winter and I’m assuming the rest of the country as well.
We offer all that stuff at a affordable price . 479.652.0580

Next up in store for me is GINA! Best friend stuff. No big deal. HUGE DEAL! She will be here for a week during St. Patrick’s day and that night we fiiiiiinnnaaly will get to perform on the same stage together. HURRAY! The show will be in Little Rock at Juanita’s with the Diamond Dames so if you didn’t have plans, now you do. And if you did, cancel them and make these the new plans.
Other than the show, my plans with the Bean are to drink, lie in bed, laugh, dance and play dress up. A week is not enough time.

I don’t mean to ignore the Blauhg. And it’s nice to see that even though it’s been so long, my site has not gone one day without being looked at. So thanks friends. You guys sure are swell.

The Blauhg isn’t the only thing getting ignored though. Poor Steenie, Shady Lane and Will-O-Wisp. No one loves them. Whats silly though is that Steenie will just not stand for that. He actually fought my commands and forced himself upon me as I was sewing clips onto hair the night before the show. He laid under the hair as I stitched and did not once even show any interest in trying to play with either the hair or the thread. He just needed love that bad. Poor little guy. He has had a lot to say today. We were also gone this last weekend and then worked all day and I guess he is making a point. I hear him loud and clear though and he currently is snuggled up right next to me right now. Sweet little Feenum.

I guess this is good enough for now. I’m sure most of you just scanned the last couple paragraphs for key words anyways. But at least you did that. So I love you.
I promise to try not to wait so long before the next entry. I said try.

Warning: Not for pussies

Right now my honey dew is playing video games and the kitten is balled up, cuddling in a nook under his legs. Its one of the cutest things I have ever seen.

It’s funny how people are trying to fight the mandatory spay and neuter laws here in Fort Smith. They should come to work with me for a day and see some of the people I deal with. And thank God too as much as they frustrate the shit out of me. Some of these people are so clueless, drunk, stoned or just plain stupid that if anyone should be there preventing themselves from having more pets, it’s them. Your welcome world.

Right off the bat today I dealt with a woman who pretty much traumatized my day. Not that I haven’t seen some terrible people do terrible things and be really disgusting, in obviously living in unhealthy quarters and so and and so forth but this just really erked me and I feel so mad and sad so I’ll share.

So when people come and check animals in, I am the first to deal with them, I weight them, temp them and give them a good look over to make sure there isn’t any major issues that need to be dealt with before surgery.
I went to the next in line this morning, and this woman told me that the crate was kinda dirty and I told her it was fine. Being a low cost clinic, we see a lot of… well, trash.
I take the carrier into our Cat Room and notice that it is wet. And not like, the cat peed on newspaper so its damp, but like a puddle of water wet. There had been dry food in there at once that had turned to mush, wet food that just flat out STANK, piss and shit. Unfortunately this isn’t the first time that I have seen something like this. But it gets worse. Holding my breath for as long as I can and trying to take small breaths out of my mouth as for I am scared to even inhale the toxins from this disgusting crate, I take the cat out. She obviously is terrified. Hell, who the hell wouldn’t be. If it smelt that bad to me I cant even begin to believe how that must of smelt to a cat.  Out the cat came and I notice something weird. Something bare. I of course look to see what kind of surprise wound I would find and there it is, no tail. Luckily the tale had been surgically removed but unluckily for that cat, whats the point when you live in your own filth. It had become infected so naturally she picked at the sutures. It already is itchy let alone having an infection set in. But thankfully she had only pulled out 2 or 3 out of about 20 so I guess it could of been worse. (It’s weird saying that seeing as how what the hell else could be worse for that cat?) I immediately went and asked the woman,  “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG  WITH YOU!? ARE YOU NOT AWARE THAT YOUR CAT NEEDS TO STAY CLEAN SO SHE DOESN’T GET AN INFECTION AND YOUR DUMB ASS CAN LET HER DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH!?”  Oh wait, that’s what I was thinking. What I really did was calmly ask, “What happened to her tail?” It did not feel as good as what I  was thinking would have felt.
She told me she didn’t know. And that it and been removed and we needed to take out the stitches. Again, I wanted to say, “Bitch we don’t need to do a God damn thing”. But of course I wouldn’t say that and of course we were going to do anything that we could to help out this cat. I calmly gave her back her carrier and told her that she absolutely had to clean it out before she came to pick up the cat. That the surgery site was going to have a fresh incision and dirty crates  like that will infect it and that situations like that can become very messy very quickly. Because this woman was obviously a fucking mess herself.

Later on after talking with Doc, I called the woman. She was drunk or something and didn’t even know what was going on when I was asking for her. Weird. So I asked when the tail was amputated. She said, “October.” Well its a good thing that’s not totally vague. October could mean 2 weeks ago or 5 weeks ago. Doc used her best judgment and took them out, we scrubbed the shit out of the site with Chlorohexidine  and I gave her a baby wipe bath. When the woman came to pick up the cat, you could see the fear grow in the kitty’s eyes. And she hissed at her. I wanted to hiss too. I hated giving her back but what am I supposed to do about it? There is nothing I can do. We all kind of interrogated her and she said blah blah blah” Abscess”. Blah blah blah “Snake bite”. Which means this cat had got bitten and completely ignored to the fact that the infection had gotten so bad that they had to perform a major surgery and take off the whole entire tale.  Fucking.Infuriating.

To add to my daily pain, I learned that two women who run two major rescues that will go unnamed for safety reasons are breeders. These women are dirty, stinky and unkempt. Their dogs are in worse condition.
How do you work in “rescue”, see terrible things and heartbreaking situations yet still breed!? I was in a rage. “Money.” my boss said. “Money make the world go round”

Later on that day we were spaying a pregnant cat. I’ve always been curious about whats going on in those full uterus’s. I was talking to Doc about dissecting things in school and asking questions about fetus’s as I  hovered over the surgery table.
She is awesome. That is a whole other Blauhg in itself but she is really good at teaching me, letting us be hands on and trusting our judgment. It’s so nice to work for a vet that trusts us. I am completely in love with her.
She got the hint through my questions and temporary locked stares and gave me permission to dissect it and see a kitten fetus.

That was one of the most interesting and saddest moments I have experienced.

3 weeks along and this kitten had toes and pads. Pads you guys. Something about that really got me. Everyone should see that and realize that until we can be responsible pet owners and get this breeding situation under control that poor little kittens and their sweet little toes and pads will be taken care of in a humane but still devastating way.

Later on in the day we found a Blood Hound puppy running around the clinic. I think she came to us because she could smell our love. My co-worker did not hesitate to take her home.  Her name is Daisy and she likes to snuggle and sit on laps.
She will be spayed at the next clinic.
A Purebred. Good job breeder. Hopefully the others will follow her scent and we can fix them too.

I’m over typing about this. I’m going to drink more whiskey and space into the game that my little honey drizzled pepper is playing. So here’s my conclusion:

Some stuff and other things. But not now.

Hi Blauhg. I haven’t meant to neglect you these last couple days but… I just have.  I have been busy working and then trying to finally get settled back to my routine of randomness. But hey, its my randomness so it makes sense in a weird way. To me at least.

Now that I’m back to my norm I am really enjoying crafting. I think that the last month or so have been so cut throat as far as costumes and craft shows go that I haven’t had anytime to enjoy it as much as I just had to just do it. So now I’m back and I have lots of ideas. First on the list, make  something for myself. And let me tell you, I am. And its totally awesome and over the top. I wont say much cause I’ll save it for the finished product but I’ll just let you know that it is going to be one hell of a head piece. And its going to be mine all mine. Unless you want to buy it for $500. Then I would totally sell it. Everything has a price.

The kitties seem to be happy that we are home being more annoying then ever. Will-O-Wisperwoo seems to think that everything is her toy and getting in trouble is fun! She has her appointment to get spayed next week. Then she will be all growed up.
Steenie has been sleeping in a box for the last two days.
Shady Lane hangs out in her window fort watching squirrels.

Before I forget, I would like to give a nice to welcome to HOT TOTTIE WEATHER! Oh how I enjoy thee.

Today was a clinic day. I worked for almost 13 hours. We had fun. My feet are killing me. I met a 60 pound pit puppy named Max. He loved his kittens, bunnies and ducks but his best friend was a pig. Super cute? Super cute.  Then to top it off, the scooter died on me on the way home. In the rain. In No Where Land.  And right as I was wanting to stomp on something but feet to sore to do so, Hok’s awesome folks sensed my troubles and happened to call me. What do they do? What any loving parents would do; drive all the way across town at night, in the rain to load up my scooter take me home and be smiles the whole time. How sweet. Mama Jane and Poppy, I sure do love you guys.

So in my spare-ish time, I’m working on a coupe other Blauhgs. Topics will include but are not limited to:
Judgments/ Preconceived notions
Occupy your face with my fist
Walking Dead
and of course, more on Steenie.

I hope you look forward to reading them as much as I do blabbing my fingers away and being thankful for spell check.

Doo’sin it

You wish you were  lion too? Well unless your going to New Orleans, your dream will not come true. Because that is where this picture is from. And that is where we are going.  Suckers. We’re all packed up and earlier as I was talking to White Chocolate, we were wondering why we were not on the road already. I’m so ready to get the fuck out of town. Riding scooters is one of my most favorite things to do in the whole wide world but because of that, we are very limited to where we can go. Neither Hokmayen or I have left Fort Smith since we went camping for my birthday in June. And we wont even talk about before that. Needless to say, its a much needed trip.

I worked the clinic today. We fixed 32 animals in 4.5 hours. Doc is going home to visit her family in Puerto Rico so between the two of us, we were ready to get the fuck out of there. She is one of my most favorite people I have ever met I think. Everyone there is so great. We have so many amazing and devoted volunteers that we re truly blessed. If we didn’t have them, we would be kind screwed. Especially my head would be screwed because I would be on a lot of pain killers. So thanks to the volunteers, I can stay drug free. It’s  great way to be. We had 28 cats and most of them came in groups of 3. And a lot of the owners were reoccurring clients. It’s so sad and great all at the same time how these people live out in the country and just get dump after dump and here they are paying for these animals to get fixed. Thank god for people  like that to balance out the assholes that think they are superior to everything but their dicks.

And another thing , it sure is funny how some men are so quick to circumcise their babies but don’t want to neuter their pets. Hmmmm?

Well, I may not be one for post for the next 5 days. Perhaps some pictures if you behave yourselves. I on the other hand, will not be. So HAPPY HALLOWEEN to all of you. Its the only holiday I really give a shit about going head over heels for.

One more thing, if you can, I’d love to see some familiar faces and I bet that there will be some good finds so come cheggit and me out at my very first Arts and Crafts show!!!!!!! GO ME!

The most wonderful time of the year

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

So as I’m sure those of you that have already check out the site have noticed, some changes have been made. I’m in the process of finding the right layout for what I want. And by that, I mean, Jess finds me things and makes it happen. Then I go Blah, blah, blah, blah. Expect for changes to happen until I get into the swing of things. I mean, this is like the most precious gift I could ever give you so I want it to be perfect.  Your welcome.

I want to share more pictures with everyone. Some may be mine, some may not. Either way, I hope that I am doing this successfully.

My life has gone from simple to complete chaos in the last two weeks. Last week was 2 clinics, crafts, costumes, making clay at Mud Puppy Studios and helping Oxi Lox get her hair did.  I worked at the clinic today, “off” tomorrow (which by no means will I be “off”) clinic again on Wednesday, leave for New Orleans on Thursday morning, back on Tuesday night, leave Thursday for Tallaquah, OK. for my very first arts and crafts show with Denise. WHOA.

So many awesome things. All of them happening at the same time.

1. My days at the clinic are my most important days. I absolutely love it there, my co workers, what I do and the vet I work with is one of the most amazing people that I have ever met in my life. I work about 12 hour days and by 12 hour days, I mean 12 hour days. Granted I have a blast and if necessary I could take a brake but we don’t stop. It’s a BAM BAM BAM situation and it’s beautiful. But as a result, by the time I get home, being of any use is comedic. It’s my favorite part of the week. I wish we were open more but I don’t think any of us could handle more then 2 days a week.

2. NEW ORLEANS FOR HALLOWEEN. ummm… need I say more? My significant lover, white chocolate ,and I are heading down to sisters place for 5 DAYS! I didn’t even realize it was that long until just now. That’s how excited we all are. We dont even care. JUST GET US THERE. Everything about this trip is  good thing. a) Us 3.  b)New Orleans. c) Getting the fuck away. d)HALLOWEEN e) last but not least,  SISTER. It could almost be overload but I wont have time for that through all the joy, love, booze, food, costumes and dancing that will take place. There even has been some talk Zman of Oxi Lox coming. But we will just have to wait and see. It is a very much need vacation for the three of us. Plus I haven’t seen the sister since April which is just too long for us so madness is definitely in store for us this weekend.

3. Arts and Crafts show. MY VERY FIRST! Thank you to Denise and the Vian Nursing Home, she and I will be doing  the Illinois River Arts and Crafts Festival. I have one day after I get back from NOLA to prepare for this which means I am getting ready for travel fun, plus costume (which is a huge deal. But you can just wait for pictures on that subject) and try to bust ass to make sure I have TONS of stuff made for the show. I want to have a lot of backup. I mean, worst case scenario, we sell everything but Id like to not worry about looking empty. Tacky. Plus the woman I talked to today said she really likes my stuff and that she gave us a good booth up front which is a total boost for me. And really means I need to step my game up. I still need to perfect my display boards and make my sign. And like said earlier, make as many pairs of jewelry as possible and even another hoop or two. Of course, I will be bringing supplies to work on stuff while I’m there as I’d like to look busy and I want to be able to make custom orders and change things when people would like.

After that my life will calm down though I must say, I sure do like staying busy. You should see the month of November in our calender. Its insane-o. Full of Crafts, Clinics and fun. Total chaos.

So I may not be here trying to get all this perfected as soon as I would like but would shmould, Im gonna be on VACATION.

I’ll be bringing my Notebook with me so I my make post. But if you get jealous, don’t say you weren’t invited. Although maybe you weren’t.

For those of you wondering, Steenie has been lying here next to me the whole time. He has yawned Twice since I started this paragraph. My days at the clinic are reallyexhausting  for him because he has so much sniffing to do when I come home. Oh gash, he yawned again. We got our laundry done so Shady Lane has been sleeping on that bag all evening. If theirs a bag on the bed, she will claim it her own. And the Will-O-Wisp has been after some flying bug that I am now questioning whether or not it even really exists. Yesterday morning she spent a hour or so attacking the dust she saw floating around in the sun rays. Talk about fuggin cute.